I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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