I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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