We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I can't trust your balls anymore.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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