I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My balls are so social today.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
