Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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