please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Please don't give away my fajitas
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
