yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize