And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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