I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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