based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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