On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
