I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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