I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
