thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
