I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize