Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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