Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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