By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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