i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
