I just threw up on my dentist
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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