We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize