sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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