Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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