idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I deserve this hangover.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
