Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My pussy is not your playground.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
