also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
