I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's official drugs can't kill me
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
