I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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