my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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