No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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