A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
