her vagine was all disorganized.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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