Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
