Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
