The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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