yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
