I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
