He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
