ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
