My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize