Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
