Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
