Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
