THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
