Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
