I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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