Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
