this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
