You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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