My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
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They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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