My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My ass is underappreciated
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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