tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
is wine microwaveable?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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