just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
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The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
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Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I want to be your penis for a week.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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