i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
