do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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