I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
