I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
